My Ayahuasca Experience: A Remembering Of Self Love
I didn’t feel the pull to sit with this medicine for a long time, and then the whispers began to come.
Open intention, I went in, just wanting to be shown whatever I needed to see.
It felt like a beautiful meditation, showing future visuals, past memories, different lifetimes and I just floated for hours.
As we moved into integration and we were sharing our experiences I shared mine felt gentle, I thought maybe this was meant to be my experience. After hearing everyone’s experience of intensity, I was assuming I would feel rocked a little more..
And then I started eating a snack during integration and it kicked in..
Wondering why the fuck this is happening now, I was forced to release control and surrender deeper than I ever could have imagined.
My journey had just begun..
My body hit the floor.
A journey of letting go.
Of being mirrored every part of myself.
Slowly her snake essence wrapped herself up around my legs, my torso, and I was faced with her looking into my eyes and a fierce and gentle..
You will listen to me..
And a gut punch that came after that..
She said you don’t love yourself..
What? You surely couldn’t be telling me this..
I showed her all the work I done, she replied with..
you like yourself enough.
What do you mean? I’ve been doing this work forever can’t you see how far I’ve come?
She shared, there’s just a deepening as she pulled out her fun house mirrors and said..
See how deeply the world loves you
And how deeply you want someone to love you
So see yourself even deeper
How much love can you let in from you?
Annoyed at how the fuck am I back to another layer of self love, I finally just let myself feel the depths of love..
I stopped fighting and just let it in..
A journey of self love and relaxing into the presence i crave.
Seeing myself for the magic I have created and that I am
Resting into all that holds me..
Feeling even deeper the beauty in and around me
Out of waiting and into living
How deeply can my heart open?
Feeling immense love and pride for this human and all that is to come.
To hear the full story of my Ayahuasca Experience, check out my podcast episode, My Ayahuasca Journey, on the Energetics of Business podcast.